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The Ultimate Expat in Korea

October 7, 2011 Leave a comment

You need to be able to check off these three criteria in order to be considered a perfect expat in Korea:

1.  Write a blog.  Be sure to include ‘Seoul’ in the title…but use it in place of SOUL or SOLDIER.  Or use ‘Kimchi.’  This will show how clever you are.  Then write about your daily experiences like how the bus was very packed or the Korean people stare at you because you aren’t Korean.  Also write like you are the first person to ever experience these things.

Obviously I am one of these assholes that has a blog but this is just the first step in becoming that ultimate expat asshole.

2.  Get an expensive camera.  With this camera be sure to take pictures of trees and bushes.  Also take a picture of EVERY meal you eat here.  Then you can consider yourself a culinary expert because you took a photo of a plate with rice and meat on it.  Also remember to take many pictures of the same looking temples over and over again.

So now you have a ‘IgotSeoul’ blog and an expensive camera.  You are almost there to becoming the ultimate expat.  Now, the final piece to the puzzle….

3. Get an acoustic guitar.  Some Korean girl told you that you look like John Mayer, so what do you do?  You get an acoustic guitar.  Now you can carry it around in a backpack while you take pictures of Korean trees.  After you’re finished with the pictures, you can upload them to your blog.

YES!  You’ve done it.  You are the ultimate expat in Korea.   Now kill yourself.

***I would like to add that there are plenty of blogs by people in Korea that are actually pretty sweet.  Check out the blogroll on my homepage for the some blogs I enjoy.***

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